Freedom (20/9/11)

Emer, our new diabetic, disappeared yesterday.

Jennifer and the team had sat down with the family in the afternoon to talk with them – they had a 20,000KSh ($200) bill, of which they were going to pay 15,000 and our Needy Children’s Fund was going to cover the rest.  And then, incredibly, a friend of ours at home who has a special place in her heart for children with diabetes had offered to pay for all of Emer’s supplies.  A glucometer, the test strips, insulin, syringes…. Immediately after reading my last blog post she & her husband had sent us enough money to cover her medications for a year or two.  Incredible generosity, that we were thrilled to share with this needy family.

And two hours later, they left.  Without paying any of the bill, without taking any means of checking or treating Emer’s sugar level.  I found out this morning.  We have not been able to contact them since then at all.

There are so many emotions warring within me.  Fear, that Emer will die – and this is realistic.  Anger, that her parents, having been offered so much, took so little, at such huge risk to their daughter.  Embarrassment, that I have had to share with my generous friend that her gift has been rejected.  Resignation, that this is neither the first time nor the last that parents have rejected my advice because they have other inputs into their decision making process.   Grief, that this little girl is yet another treatable patient that we are handicapped to help, and who will suffer.  Hope – that Emer will get just sick enough to require medical attention and that her parents will see that we helped last time, and maybe they will give us another shot at helping her.

This is free will.  This is how it works.  Every day we choose – good versus not so good versus bad.  Life versus existence versus death.  Love versus apathy versus hate.

Hardly any of our choices are black and white.  They’re usually somewhere on the spectrum – and this is how God made us.  Free to choose to join him in making this world as he intended, free to choose otherwise.  I am grateful to have this freedom.  To know that my life is not cosmically predestined, that God loves me enough to say, here is life.  Do with it the very best you can, because I love you enough to let you choose.

Today I feel like a really bad choice was made.  But if God gave me the chance to choose, he gave it to Emer’s family as well.

I just wish I could have chosen for her.

– M.


There is always hope – click here to read about sweet Margaret, who has been helped through Emer’s story

Author: steeres

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